Randominator: If Jesus Fought Satan

Stephen Hawking, obviously, referees. At the opening bell, Jesus "The Carpenter" Christ leads with a right hook that knocks Alfred "The Goat" Beezlebub into the ropes. The Devil staggers yet manages to stay on his feet. Our Lord and Savior rushes at him, but Satan is a wily figure and is able to avoid His Holy haymaker. He follows up with a nasty left cross to the Messiah's chin and finishes with a right to the breadbasket that drives the air out of God's Son with an audible ufffhh. JC falls to the ground, communion wine dripping on the mat, as Lucifer stands over him ready to deliver the KO. The crowd grows silent: could this mean the end of Christmas?

For a lack-of-deus ex machina, a  T. rex drops down from the ceiling and eats both combatants. Stephen Hawking types an emoticon that looks like a fist punching the air. 

The Randominator