Once upon a time, a secretly homosexual sex-ed teacher from one of those Catholic schools where they still consider corporal punishment "a-okay!" in the eyes of the Lord was walking along the forest path in the forest that he lived in, in a house, in the forest. He was like Smokey the Bear, except that he was a closeted gay who told small children that abstinence was the only way to save your soul while Smokey the Bear was an anthropomorphized talking fire-bear who told small children that they were the only way to save forests...actually, he was exactly like Smokey the Bear. Anyway, he was walking in the forest, this non-hetero in hiding was, when suddenly he came across a swarm of bees and a bird doing IT. Like IT IT. Yeah, that IT. Don't ask me why, don't ask me how, don't ask me who was on top, I wasn't there; only this extremely conflicted man who loved both God and other men, except God didn't know about those other men. He saw this animalistic, insane lovemaking, and realized life was too short to spend it all cooped up in a school rapping kids on the knuckles. So he burnt his frock and moved to France to become the first Formula One driver to propose to another on the racetrack.
And that's why it's called The Birds and the Bees.
The Randominator
No comments:
Post a Comment