This is a sad day for humankind. A sad, sad day, for all of us. Why? Because we have taken one step closer to creating a real-life Jurassic Park. A group of scientists have regrown an Ice Age plant. From seeds, frozen in the Siberian tundra almost 32,000 years ago, they have given a long-dead plant life. Something once thought impossible. They did it. They freakin' did it. Right now they say the technology is only capable of recreating plants, but come on, if you had the ability to bring back extinct life you'd probably keep that under wraps as well. What makes you think they'll stop at plants, though? Why would they hold themselves back from exploring all their options? Soon they could be doing bugs, and then small annoying rodents, and then tigers, and then mammoths and th- DINOSAURS. IT'S GONNA BE DINOSAURS, AND THEY'RE GONNA BE BIG, AND WE'RE ALL GONNA LIVE IN JURASSIC PARK AND OH GOD SO MUCH DINOSAUR. WE'RE DOOMED.
By now, anyone even remotely connected to a social network has seen the KONY 2012 video. (If not, take some time and watch it now; that way you won't be out of the loop for the rest of this article, man.) It was produced by a non-profit named Invisible Children to spread news about a man named Joseph Kony, the leader of the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army, a Ugandan rebel force). Specifically, it was produced to spread news about the horrible things he's done to Ugandan children, the list including kidnapping, rape, forced servitude, and conscription (making kids be soldiers) and hopefully bring about his arrest. The purpose of this campaign, "to make Kony famous," certainly worked: everybody's talking about him now, whether they like it or not. He is this year's "Friday", with an extra dose of hatred. But does all that talk necessarily mean good things for the campaign and, more importantly, for the Ugandans it is supposed to help? Or is it beneficial in name only?
I will agree, maybe this isn't the best topic for a humor website to be covering. Unlike our usual fare of dick jokes and CAPS LOCK rants, the tragic state of human rights in East Africa is no laughing matter. But I think we owe it to our readers to cover such an important and popular topic and to provide some clarification and opinion on it.
